Celebrating and Remembering Your Loved Ones

We understand that losing a loved one can be an extremely difficult time. But it’s also important for some to celebrate and remember your loved ones. Here are just some ways you can do this.

Hold a celebration of life event in place of a funeral

There are several ways you could choose to celebrate your loved one’s life. You might wish to host a celebration rather than a traditional funeral. A celebration of life is often upbeat and less formal than a traditional funeral, with the focus on celebration rather than mourning.

Here are some things to think about when planning:

1. A funeral service/celebration of life does not legally have to take place in a Church, place of religious worship, or Crematorium chapel. You could have the funeral in someone’s garden, a hotel, a care home, the local pub, or village halls for example. Do you have any requests from your loved one?
   
   Note: In the UK, the burial (also known as the Committal) is legally required to take place at a Churchyard, Cemetery, Crematorium, natural burial ground or on privately owned land subject to the correct licences having been obtained.

2. Have a theme for the celebration of life, such as your loved one’s favourite colour. Or if they were a fan of a particular sports team, everyone could wear the team’s kit.
   
   
3. Ask people to bring something to share that reminds them of your loved one. They could bring things like photographs and items that remind them of your loved one to share. You could set up a table to display the mementos and images or a message board for people to post their messages.
    
4. Plant a tree or flowers at the event site or somewhere significant. You could also give guests tree seedlings or a flower/plant to take home and plant in honour of the deceased.

Help planning a funeral

Visit our page on funeral and costs for more information >

Make a playlist of their favourite songs

Collect songs that remind you of them, or you associate with them. If you do have a funeral, some of these songs could be played. Or you could just have the playlist for yourself or send the link out to those who knew/loved them.

Build a cairn

A cairn is a man-made pile of stones raised for a purpose, usually as a marker or as a burial mound. It only needs to be small, but it can be very powerful to have a marker somewhere.  You could do this in your own garden, or if you are having a memorial service or another gathering, you could ask everyone to bring a stone (or have a selection for them at the event) and allow people to place their stones whilst taking a moment to remember and reflect.

Skip the funeral (especially if someone wanted something like a direct cremation) and just hold a wake

This still gives people the chance to come together and corporately acknowledge their loss and grief.

Scattering ashes

If someone is cremated think about what you would like to do with their ashes. Do they want them buried? Or do they want them scattered somewhere? There are certain restrictions on scattering ashes so do make sure you check first. There are now so many different, interesting ways you can use someone’s ashes. For example, you can even get walking poles called Tolad where you place the ashes in and as you walk you just click and a little bit of ash is released (really great idea if the deceased was an avid hiker or something – you could go along their favourite trails). Or you could go down the route of memorial jewellery, or ashes being planted in a tree.

Leave a tribute

Charities tend to give you the option to honour and celebrate a loved one by leaving a tribute. You can light a virtual candle (or a real candle, in person during an annual memorial service) and leave a donation.

To find out more about how you can leave a Tribute with MHA, please visit our Memory Meadow >

Marking the anniversary of a death

Everyone is different and deals with the death of a loved one in a different way. Some people like to mark the anniversary of their loved one’s death or continue to mark their birthday or other special days. You could do this by visiting their grave or a special place that meant a lot to them or having family get-togethers to name a few ideas. You might also like to start a new tradition with friends and family. 

Donate to a charity in their name

You could choose to leave a donation in your loved one’s name. This might have been something they spoke to you about or could be a gift in their Will. Some people choose to make charity donations at the funeral or celebration event. 

Other organisations offering support during a time of grief

• Cruse Bereavement Support - they have grief support for children and adults. You can call their helpline on 0808 808 1677 available: 
  
  • Monday: 9.30am-5pm
  • Tuesday: 9.30am-8pm
  • Wednesday: 9.30am-8pm
  • Thursday: 9.30am-8pm
  • Friday: 9.30am-5pm
  • Saturday and Sunday: 10am -2pm
  
  In Scotland, contact Cruse Scotland on 0808 802 6161 (Open weekdays 9am-8pm & weekends 10am-2pm) or visit crusescotland.org.uk. They also have an online chat and you can find them on social media.
  
  
• Samaritans - runs a 24-hour helpline. You can talk to someone about anything that’s troubling you on 116 123
  
  
• Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide – offers support and information to people bereaved by suicide. Their telephone line is suspended but you can email email.support@uksobs.org 
  
  
• The Silver Line – a free, confidential 24-hour helpline for older people. Tel: 0800 4 70 80 90
  
  
• Sue Ryder offers free online video counselling
  
  
• You may be able to find local bereavement services through the at a loss website.

Page last updated: November 2023.